No no, not the human-human kind. The human-food kind.
That’s always been a trigger point for me. When I used to hear people talk about their “relationship with food” I used to think “what is this? Declaring your undying love for McDonalds Mozzarella dippers?” Because … I could get on board there.
It’s only really since being in my twenties that I have truly come to realise what that phrase means. Total honesty, my relationship with food is shit. I’d even go as far as to say toxic right now.
I’m a serial dieter. I’ve done weight watchers, 5:2 and the one I’ve stuck at more than not, Slimming World. I’m currently a member, but you’d be forgiven for spitting your brew out in disbelief if you were in a fly-on-the-wall kinda sitch in my house this week (for week; see year)
I had Noah April 2019. I’ve used that as an excuse for my eating and my weight ever since.
I use so many excuses to forgive my eating habits. Time of the month, tired, feeling down, celebrating something, just living life and most recently, sod it, COVID. We deserve it this year, it’s nearly Christmas it’s reight.
But, will I hit 17 and a half stone again before I do something about it? I’m creeping back towards 15 stone now and I’ll be honest, I feel like crap! I’m lethargic, my clothes are feeling tighter and I just feel disgusting.
At times, I hate my post-pregnancy body. Imagine a balloon that you find behind the sofa 3 days after the party ..
But then I think, this body grew my amazing son. You go bod! But then, why am I punishing my body so much when it gave me Noah? I need to seriously start taking notice of what I’m putting in my gob. Don’t get me wrong, Christmas will be something special in terms of food. It always is and that’s one of my favourite parts.
But, removing that exception, I need to change. I need to regroup, refresh and remind myself how good it felt getting down to my lowest weight. Exercising regularly. Cooking fresh and tasty meals. Enjoying treats in moderation rather than binging every single night in front of the tele. It’s become a habit and it’s one I need to break and fast.
Tomorrow, I will be getting in touch with my Slimming World consultant to create a POA.
I don’t know why I thought you’d all want to read this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud anonymously. Either way, thank you for being one hell of a good (collective) listener.
Much love ❤️